Charade
by soraoathkeeper
Summary: When Aqualad comes to visit, Beast Boy feels left out and cast aside in order to make room for the prince. But Raven knows how this feels, and between the two of them they may find a place where both of them can be accepted...and loved. Raveast.
1. I've got something up my sleeve,

**A short, angsty fic for all you Beast Boy fans out there. Contains slight mention of Beast Boy/Raven. Enjoy.**  
  
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He's here.  
  
I watch him from the living room window. He comes by sea, like always. I turn around to announce his presence but I hesitate. Do I really want to tell them he's here? No matter; Starfire glances out the window and publicizes it for me. I follow her reluctantly as she flies down the stairs to open the front door for him. I stop and decide to watch, half-hidden in the shadows. The other Titans arrive and crowd around him, asking him about his life and telling them about theirs.  
  
All except one. Me.  
  
I was forgotten. No one noticed that I wasn't a part of the group. I was thrown away, cast aside. I didn't fit. I was the missing piece of the puzzle, lost and replaced by this newer, better one.  
  
I am jolted from my thoughts by Raven, who turns around. She must have noticed that I wasn't there. She spies me and approaches, asking me what is wrong in that monotone voice of hers. But I am surprised; there is a hint of concern in her voice.  
  
Our eyes meet, and suddenly, I can see a hidden part of her, a piece of me, her polar opposite, inside her. She knows what it's like.  
  
I look away, breaking eye contact. I don't want her to know what I'm thinking. I smile falsely, assuring her that it's nothing. She looks at me suspiciously for a moment, but turns around and resumes chatting with the newcomer. Our conversation goes unnoticed by our fellow teammates.  
  
I sigh inwardly. If Raven suspects me, then Robin will not be far behind. So I grudgingly join the circle, donning my mask as the joker. But although my physical self is talking with the group, spiritually, I am far far away.  
  
Finally, after many jokes and much conversation, I can take it no longer. I pretend to yawn and make up some excuse about heading off to bed. The others protest, telling me that it's only 7:30, but I persist, saying that I am tired. They don't believe me at first, especially Raven, but when I crack off some joke about playing too many video games, they buy it and turn back to Aqualad.  
  
I walk through the halls, reflecting as I go. Am I really that replaceable? Searching deep inside myself, I find the answer, my heart sinking.  
  
Yes.  
  
In fighting, Cyborg is the strongman; Robin the strategist, and both Raven and Starfire serve as air support. I was a wild card. If our 'family' were a person, Cyborg would make up the body; Robin, the brain; Starfire, the heart and Raven, the sanity. I would be the sense of humor. And a team could fight without a wild card; a person could survive without a sense of humor.  
  
They could go on without me.  
  
I am nothing special, I think to myself.  
  
I wonder if the others feel the same way I do. Do they feel left out and unwanted? Yes, they do. Starfire, when Starfire's sister came, and Raven, when Terra stayed with us for a while, both felt like this.  
  
Even my feelings are ordinary.  
  
Finally, I reach my room. Entering it, I climb up onto the top bunk as the door hisses shut behind me. Finally, my surroundings match the way I feel inside.  
  
I am alone.  
  
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**I think this might have worked better for a Raven fic, but I wanted to get inside Beast Boy's head for once. What lies beyond his surface? **

**I have a few other ideas for chapters, so I might update this. I would really appreciate it if you would tell me what you think about this. Tell me if this should be a Beast Boy/Raven romance fic 'kay?**


	2. that I don't want to show you

**Hello, hello, hello fellow authors and reviewers! I'm glad to be back and even happier at the reviews that I got. Thank you very much! As I said, this features more of Raven/Beast Boy, and I have plans for the chapter after the next to be even sweeter! As it is, the next one should have some WAFF in it too. Read on!**

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We are at the park.  
  
Aqualad decided to stay with us for a few days. It's a nice day, so we decide to spend it outside. He wants to see what we 'land people' do in our spare time, so we bring our bats and balls to play baseball.  
  
Once we get there, we divide into teams. Robin, Cyborg and Aqualad are on one team, Raven, Starfire and I on the other. The other boys smirk, thinking that they will beat us easily. Inwardly I smile. I don't mind being the only boy on the team. They haven't noticed that all the Titans with 'special abilities' are on my team. Girls they may be, but they are strong. Raven's telekinesis powers will be helpful in the field, and Starfire is stronger than she looks.  
  
We are up to bat first. I'm a little anxious, but I don't show it. Raven is up first, and hits a single. She flies to first base and is safe. I'm up next.  
  
Although I've never played the game before, I know what to do. I focus my anger, my loneliness and my fear all on that little ball.  
  
The pitch comes.  
  
I swing.  
  
The ball goes flying up in the air, over the other player's heads. Quickly, I turn in a cheetah and run the bases. The other team protests about using powers, but they know it's no use. The ball is already out of the park. I make it safely home. Starfire comes up and gives me one of her famous death crushing hugs, spewing out compliments. I hastily back away and use Robin as my shield. She hugs him instead, but quickly backs off, blushing. Robin turns red and walks quickly back to the other team. I smirk inwardly and congratulate myself on a matchmaking job well done.  
  
Raven approaches me and tells me how she was glad that I didn't mess up for once. But instead of getting angry, I smile and thank her. She seems surprised at first, I don't blame her, but she quickly turns around, her face red. I take a step toward her, concerned. Is she sick? But she moves away and I shrug it off.  
  
We win, 10-2. Robin grumbles; he hates to lose. Cyborg congratulates us, and asks me how I made the three home runs. I smile and say it was due to some pent up emotions and walk away. Ha. Let him figure that out.  
  
Raven is reading her book, while Starfire attempts to calm Robin down with some food. Cyborg and Aqualad are eating meat. I cringe. How can they eat that stuff?  
  
Seeing as there is nothing else to do, I sit beside Raven and try to see what she is reading, but she keeps moving the book back and forth. I give up. Teasing her, I ask her if she is reading psychology. She lifts her eyebrows, telling me that she's on the chapter where they discuss the best way to decapitate their friends. I laugh a little, sweatdropping. And to my surprise, she smiles slightly and goes back to reading.  
  
I am pleased. She smiled! I grin wildly and blush slightly, still not believing it. Knowing that she wants to be alone, I head back to the others. I know I'm walking, but I feel like floating. The others notice my happy face and ask me why I was so happy. Cyborg remarks how I look like someone who got his first kiss. I punch him hard, and try to hide the growing blush on my face.  
  
We eat and return to the tower. Robin mumbles something about a new lead on Slade and retreats to his room. Raven sits in the corner of the couch and reads while Starfire cheers Aqualad and Cyborg on, who are playing a video game. I'm alone again, but for once, I don't care. All I can think about was how great it was to play baseball and to make Raven smile. I don't dwell on the pain in my heart at seeing Aqualad take my place. I ignore all of it and concentrate on that happy, uplifting feeling. A wave of loneliness washes over me, but I now have something to keep it at bay. The small, slight smile that I saw on Raven's face.

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**Well? You like? Tell me! Stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	3. Cause everytime I bleed,

**Hello everyone. I'm back from Maui, Hawaii. I apologize to everyone that has been reading any of my other fics; hopefully, I'll be updating soon. But until then, please sit back and enjoy the chapter.**

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We are on a train, going into the very heart of the city. With Aqualad.  
  
Oh boy.  
  
He's leaving the next day though, thankfully. I have no problem with him; he's a great guy to know. Smart, serious, handsome, mysterious...yep, a great person. And maybe that's why it bothers me so much that he's here. He's everything that I'm not. And he fits so well within the group...making me feel left out.  
  
Anyway, as a going-away present, we're going to a baseball game. Apparently, ever since we played in the park, he's become addicted to the game. So when Robin found out that there's a game going on today, it seemed like the perfect present. A perfect present for a perfect person.  
  
Great.  
  
I stare out the window of the train, watching the scenery go by. At first, we were going to fly there. But Robin decided to take the train, because the stadium's pretty far away, and flying makes Aqualad a little woozy. You know that the stadium's pretty far when Robin gives up flying in Starfire's arms for the train. I'm just glad because I knew somehow I would end up carrying Aqualad. And even if I didn't, Raven would, and somehow, that just made me more grateful that we were taking the train.  
  
She had been avoiding me for some time, ever since that game two days ago. And I didn't know why. Was it because I saw her smile? What was so bad about that? It's not a crime or anything. So why was she avoiding me?  
  
It hurt. Because instead of putting up with my jokes and ignoring me, she had taken to talking with Aqualad. And the fact that Raven was talking to him and avoiding me stung even more. I didn't know what they talked about, but I did know that it made me mad. So mad that even Cyborg started to notice. He voiced his concerns about me when I slammed down the controller while playing video games the other day. Cyborg, of course, thought that I was being a bad sport, since he won, but what he didn't know was that Aqualad and Raven were sitting a little ways to the side, chatting about books. I made up some excuse about not getting enough sleep, but Cyborg was still a little suspicious. Thankfully, he let it go.  
  
The train slows to a stop. This is our station. We all pile out. The citizens stare at us, whispering gleefully, awed by us. They knew that we were the Teen Titans, and for that they were in perpetual awe. But I knew them better than that. If we weren't the city's heroes, we would be scorned and thrown evil looks instead of grateful glances. I sometimes look back on the days of my past, before I became a Titan. Things were different then. I was hated and feared for who I was. We all were, save Aqualad and Robin. But Robin had his own problems, living in Gothem City, and that made him like us. Starfire was lucky. If she remained on her planet, she would be worshipped. But instead, she was sold to Earth, and it was here Starfire had found her home. But if she had stayed here without us, I was sure someone would have taken advantage of her. The others, including me, were easy targets to other crueler people. Me, with green skin, Raven, with her heritage, and Cyborg, with his robotic state. No one would want us for who we were.  
  
But Aqualad was lucky. He was a prince among his own people, a prince among the Titans and a prince among citizens. He could fit in everywhere. Like Jello. Okay that was a little farfetched, but still...he was lucky for having his gifts to be so easily hidden. Star's eyes gave her away, Raven's emotions would eventually blow her cover, Cyborg's body was a no miss, and my skin and ears were blazing beacons for any type of torture. I should know. It had happened before. It would probably happen again.  
  
We walk right in to the stadium; being a hero pays well, and we had gotten free passes into this nights game. Robin and Starfire had wander off to get food (tofu dog for me, hot dogs for the rest of them) while Aqualad, Raven, Cyborg and I get seats. When Robin and Star finally find us, the game has already started. Cyborg and Aqualad cheer their team on (which makes all of the girls around the latter stare dreamily at him) while Robin tries to explain the game to Starfire. Raven's reading her book next to me. And me? I'm watching the game, not cheering like I usually would, but just watching. I understand the game more because I've played it, and I can really appreciate the intensity and skill that the professionals play the game with.  
  
The games ends. I don't know who wins, and I don't really care. Apparently, Robin and Cyborg do, as they exchange money, Cyborg grumbling, Robin grinning. They must have bet again. Sure enough, Starfire gets on their case about doing that. She hates it for some reason...  
  
The loudspeakers crackle and announce that in honor of us, the Teen Titans, the stadium is putting on a fireworks show. We all look at each other, surprised. But the show begins to start, and we all shrug and look to the sky.  
  
The fireworks are magnificent. I've never seen any fireworks so pretty before. Even during the Fourth of July, the Tower's view was never this clear, and the fireworks never this beautiful. Even Raven, who has put down her book to watch, gasps softly in wonder. I turn and smile at her, asking her what she thinks of he show. She says nothing, keeping her eyes glued to the sky, but I can hear the things that are left unsaid. I always can.  
  
The fireworks burst apart in the sky, and even if I close my eyes, I can still see them, exploding in all sorts of colors. And I can see the sparks too, the leftover pieces of the fireworks. They slowly sink to the ground, drifting down like pieces of fallen, broken stars, just trying to find the other half of them. They remind me of a quote I heard from somewhere...'and in the end...we are all stars.'  
  
Raven's head turns to look at me. I stare back at her, wondering what she wants. She asks me what was it that I said, and I redden. I didn't mean to say that aloud. I repeat the quote, and she slowly smiles, saying that she didn't think that I was a scholar. I'm not, but I don't tell her that, instead turning to look back at the fireworks, a smile on my face, which, I'm sure, is mirrored on her own.  
  
And that's how we stay for the rest of the show, looking up at the stars, leaning a little toward each other, content and happy, as the last of the sparks streak across the sky.

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**How was that? Good? Bad? Please do tell! I hope that you liked the Raven/Beast Boy hints in the chapter! A BIG thanks to everyone who has read this story, and a bigger thanks to everyone who reviewed. All it takes is one little e-mail telling me that someone reviewed and I'm good for the day. So thank you once again! And be sure to tune in next time Raven and Beast Boy shippers, as the next chapter is dedicated to their relationship. Until then!**


	4. I make a fool of me

**Okay, so this isn't the chapter that I originally imagined it to be. In fact, it doesn't bear any resemblance to the one I planned for it to be. However, although it's short, I still like this one. I always wondered how much of the animal characteristics carried into BB's human form. But still, here is the Raven/Beast Boy chapter I promised. I would have gotten it out yesterday, but the server wasn't working or something like that. Anyway, enjoy!**

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She's sitting there, so quietly.

I can hear her of course, I inherited animal senses when I became Beast Boy. I can hear her breathing, softly, hear her turn the pages of her small book, hear her heart beat slowly, contently.

I can smell her, that nice, sweet smell overpowering my senses. And as usual, even though Cyborg's right next to me, I can't smell his musky, oily scent. I can't hear the pounding of his heart, I can't hear him mash the buttons of the controller. All I can hear, all I can smell, is her. Raven.

It never matters how close the others are. I always hear/smell/see her first. All I can think about is her. Her voice. Her hair. Her personality. Her soul.

And it may seem weird to others that I like her scent better than the others. Cyborg, with, like I said, his musky, oily smell, mixed with the slight odor of sweat, shows that he's a good type of guy, on who loves to rough it and work out. Starfire's is more like perfume, flowery, bubbly (although I'm not sure how you can smell bubbly), clean and innocent smell. Robin has the aroma like some of the better citizens of the city; decent, honest, confident. But it's overpowered by the smell of leadership. And I can also smell a little bit of...darkness. Like he has something that he wants to forget. And I know that, like the others, it's his past.

In a way, I can know more about an individual than they know themselves.

But Raven's scent is...different. In a good way. She has the smell of darkness, like Robin, only more so. Like half of her is darkness and half is light. Only the light side is so tainted with doubt and fear that it thinks it's all darkness.

I can smell all of her emotions too. There's Happy sometimes, and a lot of Timid. Like right now, she's content, which is a form of Happy. Knowledge is also with her right now; well, she is reading a book. When we go to fight, her scent is charged with Brave. I can smell Rage and Fear (a form of Timid) whenever we are fighting and someone is close or might get hurt. Annoyance, when I bother her when she's reading or meditating. Gratitude, and Happy, when I try to make her smile.

I have also detected a hint of a new emotion. I don't know what it is. It hasn't been there long, well, I haven't been able to smell it until recently. It's something akin to Happy and Timid and Confused. I get very confused when I smell it, because it seems to be a mixture of all of her emotions, with something more in it. It seems to shift to Timid when I'm near, for some reason. It also seems that she doesn't know what it is either, because I can smell confusion when I smell the new emotion. Which makes me want to know all the more.

I snap out of my trance when I feel eyes on me (another heightened sense), and realize that I have been staring at Raven for sometime now. She's staring back at me, and her scent changes to Confused and for some reason, Happy. I decide to see what she's reading and scoot over to her side of the couch. She smells like Timid, all of a sudden, with a hint of Happy underneath. Is she happy around me? Or just happy that she's reading her book? We say nothing for a minute until she asks me what I want, and what I'm doing here. I smile, and say that I'm here because I like sitting next to her and watching her read.

All of a sudden, her scent changes to pure Happy. The sudden change makes my nose twitch for a second, but I can't help but wonder what made her so happy. But I forget about that when I see her face. A small, rare, genuine smile is situated there.

And right now, I'm sure that my scent is the same as Raven's; blissful, joyous, and happy.

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**Well? You like? It's pretty short, but still, I like it. Let me know!**

**Reviews:**

**Sammy: I love that song. It's Absolutely (Story Of A Girl) by Nine Days. I love songfics, but I can't really write them right. If I'm going to use a song, I'll put a recommended song at the top. Thanks for the suggestion.**

**Fora Knots: I don't really like suicide that much, and this fic will have a happy ending (hopefully). He's more like lonely, and one of the things is that he may be making this all up in his head. Now, I'm not going to say anymore because I might give away everything, but I don't think I'm going to use that. I'm just not that type of person. But thanks for the idea.**

**audi katia: It was great, thank you! I love the beach, although we all got super sunburned...but thanks for asking. **

**KeLLy BeaNz: Wow! Thanks! But there are lots more better ones than mine...if you go to R&B 'Shippers United (h t t p : w w w . e x p a g e . c o m / p a g e / r b s h i p p e r s u n i t e d minus the spaces), go to the forum. In the Fan Stuff, under the Recommended Fics category, there are a lot of great fics there. Check it out! It's maintained by Sage Of Story (which is a great author by the way), and some of the authors on (red52, ScarletAngel68, me, etc...) hang out there. It's a good website. Anything by The Enduring Man-Child on the website is really good. :hugs back:**

**The Black Moon: Sorry! I meant anyone who supports the Raven/Beast Boy relationship. And thanks for the compliment, it really makes me feel good (that phrase isn't original, but it's true...). **

**Thanks to: Elucidation, Miss Moon, theskywillfall, JakkEd-UP, red52, SpiderSquirrel, Piezo, Mika'lah, Underworld Ruler 0507, Matchin' Laces, Custos, K9 (The First), ThessalyD, WingedUnicorn123, Slayergirl1362, La Rienne de Potiron, and ScarletAngel68. You guys make my day. Thanks so much to everyone who read and/or reviewed!**

**Oh, before I go, one thing. The 'names' of the chapters are actually lyrics from Sugercult's 'Crashing Down'. Mediocre song, great band. See you next time! **


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